Don’t Let Him Choose

As The Don goes through his terrifying threes, I realize that there are certain things that I don’t let him do.  For example, talk back to me.  How many times do I have to ask him to do something and almost every time he tells me “No” or “I don’t want to.”  If I ask a simple request like put on your coat so we can go and he tells me no, then mama’s not a happy camper and neither will he.  I tell him if it’s for your safety, health, and well being, don’t tell me no. 

Another thing I don’t let him get his way all the time.  The Don is old enough to understand limits and boundaries so when he crosses those limits, I have to stop his mess or he’ll think he can walk all over me.  I know he likes to play at Smith Playground.  We spend about two to two and half hours there.  When it’s time to go, I give him a five minute warning.  After those five minutes, I let him know it’s time to go.  When he refuses, I have to pull or drag him out and make him put his coat on.  When I say something, I don’t back down.  I remember I was telling The Don that we were leaving and another mother said, “That’s what you think,” and laughed.  I told her, “No, that’s what’s going to happen.”  A father said, “Yup, it looks like they’re leaving.”  Lady, don’t undermine me, I can handle my child.

Finally, the biggest thing that I notice with The Don as of late is letting him have a choice is a dangerous and explosive thing.  I notice that if I give him a choice of A or B, he would choose A.  If I say Ok A it is, he starts to panic and wants B.  Now, I’m confused.  First he wanted A and I give him A but now he freaks out and wants B.  Does he not realize I accepted his choice? It’s like if I agree, he wants to disagree.  Sometimes it make my head hurt.  My husband made the mistake of letting The Don choose this past weekend at Target.

My husband grab the cart, put Bam Bam in while The Don stand in the front facing us.  My husband asks The Don, “Where do you want to go, straight or left.” 

The Don said, “Left”

“Ok” my husband says.  We turned left and then it happened. The Don got off the cart and starting running away from us turning the corner to go straight.  My husband and I were bewildered with this behavior and my husband went after him and brought him back to the cart and asked him again, “Left or Straight.” I told my husband not to ask him and we should go where we want to go.  “Straight.”  Then we went straight.  The Don ran back the other way that we went to the first place.  I was pissed and grabbed him back the original way and I told him “we are going this way.”  The Don started drag his feet and plop on the floor.  After pulling a screaming child for about a couple of minutes my husband had to pull him to the side and threaten no TV and playing in his room all day.  He also threatens to take him out of the store if he didn’t behave.  I don’t know what worked but it worked.

I thought the two’s were something developmental wise, year three is giving me some doozy. Some of these development stages are giving me a headache and making me say, “What the fuck is going on with him?” I think it’s The Don think he knows it all and realizing he doesn’t frustrates him so in order to get his way, he try to throw tantrums. That’s not going to work.   You don’t scare me terrible threes, (well maybe just a little), I will defeat you.