I was really looking forward to some time with my husband. I was looking forward to sleeping in for two days in a row. I was looking forward in cleaning the whole house without interruption from the kids. But that didn’t happen. My blog post, Over the river and through the woods, I was planning to have The Don and Bambino stay at my parents house for two days so my husband and I can have some time to ourselves. Unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it, it didn’t come to pass.
Last Friday, I arrived at my parent’s house about fifteen minutes early. I was ready to get the kids settled and at the same time, I was meeting an old girlfriend of mine who just moved on my parents block and is living with her aunt for health reasons. As soon as I got to my parents house, I had to go to the bathroom. I handed Bambino to my dad and told The Don to hurry inside the house because mama had to pee. As so as I got upstairs, Bambino started to cry. I knew that Bambino was cranky because 1. He did not poop yet, 2. He didn’t have a chance to take his morning nap (he only napped thirty minutes in the car), and 3. He’s teething.
When I came downstairs, my father said, “He started crying as soon as you went upstairs. I don’t know if Bambino wants to stay here. He’s so use to his mama that he may not want to stay.”
I said, “He didn’t poop yet and he didn’t sleep well on the way here. He’s probably tired or need to poop or both.”
As my parents started to unload the car of the kids stuff, my dad said to me, “You’re sure you don’t want to leave Bambino stuff in the car just in case he starts crying and wants to go home?”
“No, I’m sure he’ll be fine, bring his stuff in. He has to get use to you guys eventually.”
I told my father about bringing in the playpen in so Bambino can sleep in.
“Oh he can sleep in the bed.”
“Bambino can’t sleep in the bed. He knows how to roll over and he might crawl off the bed. I don’t want The Don to mess with him either if he woke up before him. I told mom about this.” My parents only had a queen size bed for both kids to sleep in.
“Oh, ok,” my father said but I sensed a little attitude.
So Bambino was crying because he needs to be changed. My dad was telling Bambino, “Are you going to man up and suck it up or are you going to keep crying?’
Now, Bambino is only nine months old and he was crying because he needs his diaper changed.
I said, ‘He’s a baby. I don’t understand why men think a baby boy should man up. He’s a baby.”
“Oh, he’s a mama’s boy; look at him you can tell.”
“So what? He is going to need his mama.”
“The Don doesn’t go to you like that; see he’s playing with the Casio keyboard.”
“What are you talking about? The Don calls for ‘mama’ all the time.”
My dad was telling Bambino, “I know you’re mad at me because I handed you off to your grandmother but I had to say hi to my buddy first.”
His “buddy” is The Don. That pissed me off because why wouldn’t you say hi to both of your grandkids instead of one over the other. When Bambino ignored my father, he said, “Oh, he’s going to be something else.”
The kids started to play with the walkers and cars. Bambino wasn’t crying anymore and was playing with his brother. Some how I knew my father was overwhelm by my sons playing and making a lot of noise as they played. I went to the bathroom one more time before I went over to my girlfriend’s house. My father walked us out. Bambino was fuzzy and did not want to sit in the stroller. My father made a comment about him manning up again and how he needed to cut that out. I told him, “You’re going to stop talking to him like that. I’m not going to tolerate you talking to him that way.” I could tell that my father did not like that I corrected him and told him not to talk to my son that way. He’s my son and I don’t care if it’s a strange, mother, father, mother in law, they’re not going to disrespect my children. My mother and I took the kids and off we when down the street to visit my friend.
About forty five minutes later, my mother and I came back to my parent’s house. I was holding The Don’s hand as I enter the house followed by my mother holding Bambino. Bambino was fine and calm in my mother’s arms and The Don was his usual playful self. I was about to leave when Bambino leaned over for me to hold him. My father interjected by saying, “See I don’t think Bambino wants to stay here. Right now you and he are like this (putting his index and middle finger together) he wouldn’t want to stay. He should stay here a year from now when he’s not so attached to his mother.”
Now this doesn’t make sense to me. Granted, The Don stayed with my parents overnight a few times and when I had a few doctors appointments, my father would watch him. But to not give Bambino a chance to see if he would adjust and my father not trying to get to know his grandson and assuming he won’t want to stay because he’s reaching for me or he cries seem a little suspicious.
I told my father, “You didn’t give him a chance to see what he would do. I didn’t leave yet.”
“Psychologist said at this age that they are attached to their mother’s and they will get upset if you leave them in a strange place.”
“You believe what a psychologist says over your own daughter. I’m telling you that he’s tired and has to poop that’s why he’s crying. When he poop and sleep he’ll be fine.”
“Why put him through that? He is going to cry for you.”
“You act like you don’t even want him here. Let’s see what happens first.”
“He will get upset and might cry in the middle of the night.”
“See, that’s the objective word ‘might’. You’re assuming something that didn’t even happen yet.”
“I’m experienced in this matter.”
“What experience do you have? You only watch The Don. Even he cried when I left and then afterwards, he was fine. If I’m wrong then I’ll admit that I’m wrong and I’ll come up to get Bambino in the morning but I will be taking The Don as well. There’s no need for me to come up here for one child and then have to come back for the other.”
Knowing my father, when I said that I would take The Don too, he thought that I was being spiteful because he didn’t want Bambino to stay. To me, it doesn’t make sense to come for one child and come back for the other. How would that look to The Don? ‘Mama came to take Bambino home but not me?’ That’s not fair and I’m about what’s fair for my children.
“You can take Bambino and we’ll catch the train to bring back The Don.”
“See that doesn’t make sense. If I’m coming back for one, the other is coming too.”
“Why don’t you just take both of them then?” I sensed the bitterness in my father’s voice when he said that. It’s the ‘I can’t get my way so I’m going to threatened you’ type of statement.
“Are you threatening me?” I asked my father.
“No, they’re your kids you can do what you want.”
I was so pissed off at that point.
“Ok, we are leaving. Pack up and let’s go!”