The Boobs are not working!

My secret weapon to put Bambino to sleep isn’t working!  I use to be able to put Bambino to sleep as soon as he finish nursing and he would be in a milk coma.  As soon as I whip out the nipple he would be asleep.  A little exaggeration I know but my boob would work that fast to put Bambino in la la land. 

However, for the past two months, the boobs aren’t working.  I would nurse Bambino, and nurse, and nurse and he would fuzz that my boobs aren’t putting him to sleep. “I don’t know what’s going on,” I would tell him.  I don’t know why my boobs, the only weapon that I have to put him to sleep is dead.  Bambino would slap my boob like he was trying to make the magical liquid gold come out and help him to sleep. 

I wonder if the consistency of the milk changing from a sleeping potion, to a keep me awake potion.  If the consistency changed, Bambino is not happy about it.  I’m not happy about it either because I have to find another way to put Bambino to sleep.  I tried to rock him to sleep in the rocking chair.  I tried swaying back and forth holding him close to my chest. The only thing that it does is make Bambino lay sideways to try to reach for the only thing that he knows would put him to sleep…my breast.  “It’s not working Bambino!”  I would tell him.  Bambino don’t believe me.    

My husband can sway Bambino side to side and in about a few minutes, Bambino is down for the count.  It doesn’t work with me because Bambino is use to my breast that no matter what I do, he wants the breast.  I would let Bambino get so tired and then try to nurse. After about forty five minutes of nursing and sore nipples, he finally falls asleep.

As of this moment, my husband puts Bambino to sleep at night and it’s a hit or miss with him putting him down for naps.  The power of the boobs are fading. I had superpowers of sleepiness and they are disappearing.  I am powerless to put Bambino to sleep without my boobs. Bye, bye boobs!  Oh, God help me!

Funky Laundry

Sometimes I can’t believe my nose.  Having boys, I realize that I would be dealing with funky laundry because well, they are boys.  I imagined that I wouldn’t have to deal with the stinky laundry until at least that they are in middle school.  Oh, how wrong I am.  Did you know that a three year old boys laundry stink?  For those who have boys are probably laughing in my face, well if you could laugh in my face.  But seriously, I didn’t realize The Don’s body could dispense such a funky smell. 

It was a couple of laundry cycles ago that I noticed the smell.  I thought that I was doing my husband laundry the way it smell and I don’t do his laundry.  My husband does his own.  That’s great I know but I might as well be doing his laundry the way The Don clothes was smelling.  It couldn’t be that smell come be coming from my sweet, sometimes destructive, three year old son. The shirts, pew!  The underwear.  Pew!  The socks! PEW WEE!

Photo credits:

As I put The Don’s clothes in the washer, I was ponding what it would be like if he was a teenager and if I continue to wash his clothes.  If his clothes smells like this now and he’s just running around, imagine if he played sports or not even that; he just being a teenage boy.  ‘Yuk!’  I thought to myself.  I don’t think I could bear the smell.  The Don enters the laundry room asking “Help up laundry in please?”  Ah Ha!  That’s right.  The Don can do his own laundry and I don’t have to worry about the smell. HA!HA!HA!. 

So I’m teaching The Don how to put the detergent in and sort his clothes; colors and whites.  The Don can’t reach the knobs until he’s a little tall but he’ll let how to set the cycle too.  By the time he becomes a teenager, I won’t have to worry about washing his funky laundry again.  Woo Hoo! Mama does it again with this brilliant idea. I amaze myself sometimes. 

The Copy Cat

The Don is an amazing big brother to Bambino.  I think I said this in previous post.  However, The Don is suppose to be the big brother right?  How come sometimes he acts like Bambino?  There are days that The Don would take charge and be the big brother e.g if Bambino cries, he look to see if he’s alright, when The Don tells him what to do and where to go or if Bambino is bored, The Don would be ‘Mr. Funny Guy’ and make Bambino laugh.  Then there are other times that he would act like Bambino.  Imitating Bambino so well that I sometimes think that I have two infants in the house instead of a preschooler and an infant.

The Don would imitate or mimic Bambino in his mannerism.  For example, Bambino started blowing raspberries.  The Don would imitate him.  This was cute for a moment until The Don started blowing raspberries without Bambino.  It started to become annoying.  So annoying to the point when I was quoting my own father and said to him, “You’re the oldest.  You know better.”  I would like to believe this statement is true, but does he really know better?  I wonder about that.  Another example would be when Bambino is using his walker and The Don would have his walker when he was Bambino’s age and The Don would follow Bambino in everything he does.  If Bambino falls, The Don falls.  If Bambino’s walker bumped the staircase, The Don’s walker would bump the staircase as well.  Bambino would pull himself on couches, tables, and chairs.  The Don would pull himself on couches, tables, and chairs. Bambino would play and shake the baby gate.  The Don would play and shake the baby gate. What’s makes The Don imitations so disturbing is that when Bambino finish nursing, The Don would try to come close to nurse as well.  That’s when I have to tell him, “Mama’s milk is for Bambino.  You had mama’s milk when you were his age and don’t need it.” It’s frustrating because if I tell Bambino not to for example, shake the gate, I’m telling The Don not to shake the gate and that’s when I go crazy. I swear some days, I have two infants.  I couldn’t imagine having twins…they would drive me insane.  I hope I didn’t jinx myself if I decided to have more children in the future tee hee.

Maybe The Don wants attention.  Maybe he’s in a imitation stage in his development. Maybe my expectations of The Don being a big brother who his little brother should be following him, not the other way around isn’t realistic at this moment in his development.  It probably takes time to get into the role of being the big brother and getting use to not being the baby anymore.  Maybe The Don enjoys playing on the level of his little brother and they are playing as brothers not big brother, little brother.  But in the end, The Don has to realize that he was taught not to do certain things and when Bambino does something and I may be a little more relax with him because Bambino doesn’t know it’s wrong until I correct him, doesn’t give The Don priviledge to do it as well. I have to make The Don understand that he’s the big brother and it’s good to be the big brother and not the baby so he should not act like a baby.  I haven’t figured that out yet.  How would you or did you handle your oldest regression to convert baby to the baby stage? 

The Don copying Bambino pushing

Quick, Grab the Cheerios!

Bambino is in his 10 month regression and it’s a good thing because the end result would be that he would be walking eventually.  However, the down side of this regression is that I have one cranky stank baby because he doesn’t want to nap or do want to nap.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell.  Let me explain.  I can tell in his eyes that he wants to sleep, will even nurse to sleep but somehow, he will fight sleep.  Maybe it’s because he’s teething but the teething pain doesn’t disturb his nightly sleep so I’m not sure if he’s not napping because of teeth coming in.  Or he would sleep for about a half an hour and then he’s up again until the next nap or he would skip the next nap all together.  Now combine this sleep deprivation with excitement of what’s going on around him, Bambino is one cranky, over excitable baby.  So what does a mother do with an antsy, sleep deprived baby who wants to be on the move but can’t because I have to cook, or I’m playing with The Don or I just need a break?  Grabs the Cheerios!

Bambino eating Cheerios

That’s right; I calm the savage beast with Cheerios.  Not only does it keeps him busy and satisfying his motor skills but it also can cure hunger too, well if he’s hungry.  When I’m cooking dinner and Bambino’s in his high chair crying screaming because he wants to get down and crawl, grab the cheerios!  If I need to go to the bathroom and Bambino fuzz about being in his high chair or crib, grab the cheerios!  If we’re out for a walk and Bambino’s getting antsy and he doesn’t need to be changed or nursed, GRAB. THE. CHEERIOS!

Giving Bambino Cheerios keeps him busy enough so I can get a break or figure out what’s really wrong with him.  I started carrying cheerios everywhere I go now just in case the cranky stank baby makes his unwelcomed appearance.  Thank you Cheerios for getting rid of the cranky stank baby and giving this momma some peace…for a while.


Hooray! 10 Month Regression

 I know you’re probably looking at the title of this blog and wondering, “What is wrong with her?  Regressions aren’t good.  Whatever she’s on, I want some too.”  Well, maybe not the last sentence, but I’m not crazy; at least I don’t think I am.  I use to despise regressions because as soon as you started getting your routine down and the baby is sleeping at least two hour naps or sleeping through the night, then BAM, sleep regression. Well not any more, I welcome the sleep regressions, (ok not the four month one, or the eight month one) but this one, the ten month one, I welcome because to me it means only one thing; Bambino’s about to walk soon!

Yes everyone, this month’s regression where it could be any day or any month now Bambino will take his first steps.  Bambino started to regress on his nap time about a couple of weeks ago.  I was a little upset about this because I had his sleep schedule down; nap between nine and ten in the morning and another nap between three and four each for an hour or it could be down at eleven and back up between one and one thirty.  I prefer the latter.  But lately, he’s been napping for thirty to forty five minutes and then it’s a hit or miss if he naps again around three to four. It’s a guessing game to see if “Bambino will stay down for his nap today” show.   I guess if I was coming close to taking my first steps, I wouldn’t want to sleep either.  Also, in this regression, he’s starting to understand the language and putting sounds together by the tones of voices and yada, yada, yada, he’s about to walk.

Bambino has been cruising, crawling (not only on the floor but stairs at well), and he finally knows how to roll over.  He’s getting faster and faster everyday.  Sometimes Bambino would hold something in his hand and not realizing that he is standing on his own.  He even reaches for the keys in the doors (don’t know if that’s a good thing but we’ll say it’s a good thing that he can reach). I remember The Don doing the same things Bambino is doing.  A day before The Don turned eleven months, he stood on his own and a day later, he took his first steps.  I don’t know if it would be the same for Bambino, but it’s going to be interesting to find out.

I feel bad that my Bambino isn’t taking his naps and I hate that he’s cranking and fuzzy at the end of the day but fear not little buddy; it will all be worth it.  Instead of holding you in my arms and carrying you, you will be walking into my arms. I can’t wait until he takes his first steps.  I can’t wait.


                                                    Bambino 10 months old

A Mommy’s Confession

Mommy Confessions

I have a confession to make. I feel guilty that I do this. How can I say this? Um, sometimes I use formula to fed Bambino and I tell people that he is exclusively breastfeed. 

‘Oh no, what have you done?  You broke the pack of the breastfeeding club.  Get out.  Get out now!

Ok, it’s not as deep as you think.  Hear me out. I love breastfeeding and all the benefits from it.  I treat breast milk like it is gold.  When people say, “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” I cry when I spill breast milk, or when I defrost breast milk and it doesn’t get used whether if it’s my husband or the grandparents who doesn’t use it or say, he wasn’t hungry at the time, or they use the second frozen bottle and he only drank an ounce of it, it feels like the milk was wasted.  Eventually, the baby, in this case Bambino, wouldn’t want the bottle milk because I’m right there.  Fresh breast milk or defrosted breast milk?  The babe is smart he wants the fresh milk.  So a bottle of breast milk goes to waste.  Wasted pumping, wasted time defrosting, and wasted time.  So I came up with a solution, give him formula whenever I’m not around that way he won’t waste the breast milk. 

I can hear it now, ‘Why would you do that?” You do know that breast milk is the best milk to give to the baby right? ‘ Yes self righteous woman I know that.  A little formula is not going to hurt my baby.  My parent’s formula fed me and in my opinion, I think I turned out ok.  There’s something inside my head that sees breast milk as gold.  Breast milk should be treated with the respect that it deserves.  So for those few occasions that the husband watch Bambino or take him out with his mother, I give formula.  If you going to wasted milk, you can waste that.  I still have some breast milk that in the freezer for a couple of months.  I don’t want to use them until I’m absolutely sure it going to be used.  What’s the point of having frozen milk if it’s not going to be used? Ah, the indignity.  What’s your mommy confession?


I Owe It To Them

In light of my confrontation with my father over the sleep over a couple of weeks ago, I really started to do some soul searching.  I’m at a point were I don’t care if my parents see their grandchildren or not. I’m ready to limit contact in regards to them seeing my children and never leaving them alone with them. I’m refusing to come by with the kids and they would have to come up to see the children at our house.  Knowing my parents, it’s too much effort and they probably wouldn’t see them that much. 

I’m really tired of being the dutiful daughter that gets walked on and when I stand up for myself and my children, my father was willing to get rid of both his grandchildren and me because he didn’t want Bambino to stay.  When I stood up to my father, it felt like I’m alone because my mother doesn’t defend me.  When my mother called me last Thursday (probably to see if I’m still upset and hate their guts), I didn’t even bring up the sleep over again.  I was nonchalant in behavior and didn’t let it phase me.  In the past, my mother would stand by my father and would make it seem like I was in the wrong so that’s why I didn’t bring it up.  I’m tired of that.  It’ like if you’re being bullied and you stand up to the bully but his or her entourage is agreeing with the bully. Although you won this round with the bully, their entourage will make you feel bad because you confronted the bully. 

Growing up, I don’t feel like I was guided into the person I could have become.  It felt more like I was bullied into doing things and being someone that I wasn’t just to please my father. There was no exchange of affection except an obligation kiss when leaving the house.  No spontaneous hugs, no saying I love you; an emotionless household. My little sister and I were never encouraged to be who we wanted to be. Whatever we were interested in pursuing seem like it had to be approved by our father.   We weren’t allowed to disagree with him.  Even a healthy debate would turn into an “I’m right, you’re wrong” argument. My father would yell, degraded, say verb insults, invade your space, make light of your feeling to the point were you think your feelings are wrong.  Then you start to think like he would think just to be safe and not to enrage him.  I remember growing up my father would raise his voice to my mother and my mother would sit there like a child while my father tears into her verbally.  It angers me till this day. My mother, sister and I were extensions of him.  Similar to a tree, my father was the bark and the rest of the family was branches.  No matter how far we reach to get away, we are always attached to the bark.

My father can be described as a narcissist and my mother his co-dependent or what I call her sometimes is “dad’s shadow.” I don’t remember anytime that my mother would stand up for my sister and me.  I see my mother as ‘weak’ to let this man bully her and her children around. Both of my parents had their share of abuse growing up and although they weren’t physically abusive to my sister and me, emotionally and mental abuse is still abuse. Although I allowed The Don maybe five visits and three or four overnight visits in the past, I wonder why I let them near him.  Did I think they would change because they are grandparents?  Maybe they disguised there true behavior in front of me (because I warned my father that if he talked to The Don they way he talked to me that he wouldn’t see him) so they can have him and do what they wanted when they are alone with him?  After the way my father talked to Bambino in front of my face, my father hasn’t changed one bit.  Why am I surprised?     

I vowed to myself that I would never become my father or my mother. What kind of mother would I be if I allowed my parents to continuing have access to my children alone knowing what they are capable of? I don’t own my parents access to my children just because they are my parents. The key is that they are my parents, not my children’s parents.  I owe it to my children to have a safe environment to be raised in. I own owe it to my children to protect them at all cost, including from my family. I vowed to show my children unconditional love, affection, and attention. Don’t feel because its family that you have to expose your children to people that can harm them physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Some people might say that it’s important for children to have a relationship with their grandchildren.  I say, ‘yes it is but not at the children’s expense.’ 

If you have an abusive parent that wants to see you’re children alone, don’t do it.  He/She will not change because their grandparents.  If they do change, it’s not because of you or your children, it’s because they see they have a problem and are willing to change. Yes, your parent will get angry with you.  He/she will think you’re being spiteful against them.  I say that they are angry because they can’t control you anymore.  Take control of your life and protect your children from the people that cause you harm because you owe it to your them.  You owe it to them.