Bambino is on the move. He started crawling on Monday. All of a sudden, he started to crawl. No notice, no memo that told me ‘Hey mama, I’m going to crawl in a few days so get ready for your heart to sink a little because I’m on the move.’ It was like magic that he started crawling. Not only is he crawling, he’s cruising too. Cruising from the sofa, to the chair, to his crib, movements almost ninja like where a few days before were non existent. Where did my little Bambino go?
Watching his ninja like movements on the floor and cruising on the furniture, I really started to notice how small he was. This small little person moving around, crawling on the floor, stumbling sometimes making great strides moving farther and father away from me. There’s a sadness in my eyes full of pride but also full of loneliness because in that moment Bambino isn’t the same baby he was eight months ago.
Last night the family was in The Don’s room and I was trying to nurse Bambino. Bambino drank a little but he was more interested in crawling and cruising and started to push me aside to get off from lying on my lap. My husband told me that Bambino didn’t need me like he did eight months ago; that you can see it in his eyes that he’s a different person from just a few days ago. It’s amazing what a little crawling can do. It changes your outlook on things. Now Bambino sees things differently because he’s on the move. There’s so much to do.
When I finally got him to nurse at the end of the night, I looked at him laying on my lap and notice how big his was. He barely fit on my nursing pillow, now I have to cradle him in my arms. I remembered when he was so small, helpless, and fragile; with a blink of an eye he’s eight months old, a heavy twenty pound baby not quite a toddler but still a baby…my baby. I remember feeling this way when The Don started to crawl too. The feeling that I been forced to let them go and to explore their world without me…without me. Never did understand the saying, “Life goes by in a blink of an eye” until last night. I will get use to the fact that Bambino doesn’t need me just like The Don doesn’t need me unless they REALLY NEED me. Bambino’s growing, changing, developing; I try not to look at it as a bad thing, it just means that I must be doing something right for him to thrive the way he is now. Next time Bambino, give mama a little warning when you reach a major milestone so I can be prepared to cry next time. I will cry tears of joy that you are succeeding; tears of sorrow because you’re one step closer from leaving me.