Tired of being needed

Sometimes I feel like the odd one out especially when I’m around my husband’s family.  Of course, every family has their own clicks but I feel like the odd one out.  Sometimes I dread family get togethers because I really don’t have anything in common with the in laws.  My mother in law is great and she makes a person feel welcomed but it’s like when they get together although I’m married into the family, I’m not really apart of the family.  Whenever my mother in law and our family goes somewhere, it’s like I’m just tagging along.  My husband and his mother chat and hang out while I’m lagging behind seeing if the kids need anything.  A lot of times if the family is out and about, either my mother in law would walk with The Don and I would be with Bambino or my husband would be with The Don and my mother in law plays with Bambino.  I’m usually bored out of my mind with nothing to do.  One of those days were today when we all was treated to the Elmwood Park Zoo.

The family left the house about ten fifteen. It was about a thirty minute drive.  I knew if we weren’t at the zoo at the appointed time, which was ten thirty, we would get a call from his mother.  Sure enough, I received a call from the mother in law asking where we were.  Now, I got up early, about six thirty to wash, get the kids ready, feed, myself feed and dress and still didn’t make it out of the house on time.  I forgot to make sure that The Don had his shoes on before we left.  My husband and I really don’t like things to be planned so meticulously that if we’re not there at a certain time we get a phone/text check. 

I knew that I wasn’t going to like the zoo.  For one which is a personal reason, I don’t like seeing the animals displayed for the entertainment of others.  Granted, the zoo provides an educational factor for the kids and adults alike to learn about the animals themselves. Maybe the animals enjoy being taking care of by the zookeepers but I don’t see them as being free.  The other reason is because I will be on standby duty.  If any of the kids needed anything, I would be available to take care of them. But even today, that didn’t happen too much.  I was kind of waiting to be needed.  Bambino didn’t need me too much but a couple of diaper changes.  My mother in law helps fed him and The Don didn’t need me at all because my husband took care of him.  

As we toured the zoo, The Don was with my mother in law and her male companion for awhile and then my husband took over and was with The Don.  Bambino was with me but he was extra fussy.  Even when I gave him breast milk, he still wasn’t happy.  So my husband took Bambino because apparently he didn’t want to sit in the stroller and wanted to be with daddy; my mother in law had The Don.  I didn’t want to be like, “Hey mother in law, hey husband, give me back the kids.”  I figure that they don’t spend time with them much and I guess they thought they were giving me a break from them.  Now not only I felt awkward because I feel I have no place in my husbands family, now that my kids are taken care of, I have nothing to do.   

We saw the chickens in the chicken coop, barn yard animals, swans, flamingos, porcupines, buzzards, etc.  The Don had fun because he got to ride a pony and he got to ride on a little train with daddy.  Even Bambino was on the train.  My mother in law’s companion brought train tickets for The Don because he loved trains and one for Bambino but an adult had to accompany him.  Of course my husband quickly volunteered.  During the tour of the zoo my husband asked me was I having a good time and I honestly say no.  Even my mother in law asked if I was having fun and I told her I wasn’t.  I couldn’t partake in anything. I told my husband I would like to ride on the train too and he said that I should of spoke up.  Yeah ok I should have asked the guy that was treating us to the zoo, “Excuse me, I know that you brought tickets for the train for the KIDS, I would like the ride the train too.”  My husband thought I was competing to share train time with the kids.  I told him I wasn’t competing and it would be nice if I did something fun with the kids for a change. 

I’m tired of being somewhere only when needed. My husband couldn’t understand why I wasn’t having any fun like he was.  As long as the kids were happy, I didn’t care if I was happy.  I wanted to have fun too, just this once.  But as a mother, I have to face the fact that the kids will look for me when they NEED something.  I guess that’s the way it always is for most mother; we are the rule makers, the less fun parent while dad comes off as the hero, the fun loving parent.  I think some dad feel that way that they should be the fun loving parent and moms are suppose to mother.  Some days I don’t want to be the boring parent.  There’s a fun loving parent in there waiting to surprise the kids.  Just give her a chance to come out, I think the kids would like her too. 

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