My parenting style sometimes can come off a little rough around the edges. My husband “lovely” calls me Drill Sergeant when I talk to the kids. Just dishing out orders, hardly any fun. I can have fun as long as the house is in order I can have fun all I want. Easier for the husband to have more fun when he’s not maintaining the kids and planning their day…just saying. I know sometimes, ok almost all the time that I can be hard on the kids. My style is like, I’m your mother first then friends….so just do as I say damn it! I don’t have a lot of patience either especially when I feel overwhelmed or tired, or hungry, or thirsty or hormonal.
There are certain phrases that I say that comes out a little harsh like,
To The Don:
“Put your shoes on…now!” But this is when The Don fails to do it after the third time asking.
“I’m not going to help you if you’re not going to try.” I would like The Don to try to do something like put on his pants or socks or shoes if I know he can do it.
“Take your arm out, and then pull the other arm out…oh you’re laughing? I’m going to walk out the room and you let me know when you’re ready for me to help you.” This is when I given in to help The Don and I have my “stern” voice telling him what to do and he laughs.
“No, don’t put your hands up your butt! You have to wipe first. Now dookie is all on your hands!” Do I need to explain this one?
“I told you not to jump off the couch! Oh no, don’t cry now. You should have listened to mama.” Sometimes The Don needs to learn a lesson not to be coddled.
“Why are you crying now? Didn’t I just change you?” I know babies pee a lot but still.
“Don’t you drop that rattle. Uh, you dropped the rattle. Now mama has to pick it up, I hope you’re happy.” Actually, I think it does make Bambino happy.
“I know it’s frustrating to learn to crawl and I know you’re tired. Just one more time for mama!” I can push hard sometimes because Bambino would just give up in the first couple of tries.
“You want MORE milk! You just ate twice in fifteen minutes.” Usually he’s trying to fall asleep and he would feed and feed and feed until he’s tired while my nipples are sore. This usually happens when it’s time to go to bed and I’m half asleep and exhausted.
I admit I can come off demanding, mean, scary sometimes. I know the positive parenting group would look at me shamefully at the way I interact with my kids. But the kids and I also have fun interaction where we laugh and play. Sometimes tough love is required as long as it doesn’t lower self-esteem and it teaches them boundaries and responsibilities. You can’t be nice all the time and I don’t know a parent that is nice to their child when they do something wrong. I was thinking thoughout the day even when I’m at my breaking point, emotionally about to explode or exploded already, the kids still love me. The Don is always looking for ways to spend time with me; by sitting on my lap, hugging me, and looking for me to give him a bedtime story. Bambino still looks to me for comfort, smiles when I enter the room, and when I hold him he gives me the warmest hugs and snuggles a mother can ever receive. So, I may come off rough and “drill sergeant” like with my children, they still love me. It’s just amazing although the kids get frustrated with me their unconditional love still comes through like they understand that mama gets frustrated yet they still love me anyway because I’m human. Mama loves her little guys too but don’t get it twist. Drill sergeant will keep her little soldiers in line and they will become well mannered adults.
I will see to it. HUT, HUT!