The Production

The show is about to start.  It’s time to get ready to walk the dog.  The setting takes place in our kitchen.  The boys and I finish eating our breakfast.  I made sure that I brought down my sons pants that they are going to wear outside.  No need to change their shirts; it will be hidden underneath their jackets anyway. 

I tell my oldest to put whatever food he didn’t eat into the trash and his plate in the sink. He ignores me and start playing with his toy tractor trailer and making “vroom” sounds.  I tell my oldest again in a stern voice, “Put your food in the trash and your plate in the sink!”  He finally does it.  I’ve cleared my bowl and my infant son’s bowl.  My infant son is playing with his giraffe tether and a blue bird that’s like a rattle you pull and it rattles.  I put the bowls in the sink and rinse them out so I can put them in the dishwasher later.  Meanwhile, my oldest is trying to take one of the toys that my infant son was playing with because he wants to play “kissy” with the duck rattle.  I tell him to give back the toy that his brother was playing with and to take off his sleep pants and put on his street pants. 

As he was taking off his sleep pants, I laid his street pants in front of him to put on.  Then I hear something dropped and something dropped again.  My infant son dropped both of his toys and he starting to get antsy.  I walked over to his highchair and picked up his toys and told him do hold on to them because mama doesn’t feel like picking them up again.  I sat in my chair putting on my sneaker when my oldest starts to whine.  He was trying to put on his street pants and he keeps saying, “Need help!  Need help!” 

I told him you don’t need help, you can put them on.

“Mommy”, he cries. 
So I let him cry a little bit as I finish putting my other sneaker on and walked toward him to see what’s going on with his pants.  He put two legs in one pants leg. 
“What did I tell you to do when you put your pants on?” 
My oldest still whining.
“No. No whining. Remember what I told you.  Take your right leg out…” He starts to take both legs out.
“No, the right leg, right leg!”  He takes the right leg out. 
“Put your leg in again and then spread your legs.” 
He finally got it on.  Great!  My son gets up and goes play with his race car now. 
“Go get your black and gray sneakers.” I tell him. 

I get the baby from the highchair and change him.  Of course he’s wet.  I start to change him when I hear the dog wimping, barking, and whining. Then I hear my oldest laughing loudly. 
“Stop taunting the dog and get your butt in here and put on your shoes like I asked you to!” 
He finally comes in with his shoes in tow. 

I haven’t check to see how cold or warm it is outside so I put the baby in the play pen and I went to get my windbreaker from the closet outside the kitchen then walked towards the mud room to get the double stroller.  The double stroller is so heavy it feels like I’m dragging a stiff body outside which causes my right shoulder to ache every time I lift it up the stairs or pull it downstairs.  I walk pass my oldest to check on the progress of him putting on his sneakers.  They are on but on the wrong foot. 

“Your shoes on the wrong foot.  Switch your shoes.” 

He gives me a deer in the headlights look.  So I place the correct shoe in front of the correct foot.  I walked outside with the fifty pound stroller (ok I’m exaggerating, it’s like 25 pounds but still is heavy) all the while the dog is getting excited because he’s going for a walk. It’s kind of chilly so my oldest can wear his light jacket but my infant son will wear a heavy jacket.

I walked back inside.  My son has his shoes on but the Velcro straps are not strapped.  I just strapped them for him.  I don’t feel like battling him as to strap his Velcro; I’ll save that battle for another day.  I tell my oldest to go to the potty before we leave.  Now the baby starts to cry.  I say to the baby “What’s the matter?  Did you pee again?” 
Without me looking at the blue strip on the pamper diaper, I smelled the heavy stitch of soaked pee pee diaper. 

“Of course you did.”  I go and change his diaper and I hear my oldest banging on the washer and dryer in the laundry room.  I shouted, “Stop banging on the washer and dryer and go potty!”  After changing the baby’s diaper, I put on his heavy jacket and put him in the play pen again.  My oldest comes back with his pants not pulled all the way up.  I pulled his pants up and tell him to get his black Nike jacket.  He gets it and I help put it on.  Now it’s time to go get the dog.

I go into the area that our dog sleeps in. My oldest follows me. The dog is jumping up and down.  My son is jumping up and down making the dog more excited.  “Go to the door and wait for me.”  I tell him.  He goes to the door and then opens the door. 
“I said to go to the door, not open the door!” I shouted.   Then I hear the door slam shut.  I wait until the dog calms down then he walks with me to the door.  I have the dog lay down by the door but my oldest son tries to hug and hold the dog while I’m trying to get the dog to obey.  I tell my son to go into the kitchen.  Once the dog is finally calm enough to put the leash on, I tell my son to come outside with the dog.  I hurry back inside to get my infant son and my backpack.  Check to see if I have my keys and then out the door we go.  I strap my infant son in, then my oldest stands in the back of the stroller, then I take the dog down the steps and we’re finally off to walk to dog.  But wait, I forgot the poopy bags.  So I run back inside with the dog tied to the rail and my sons waiting by the steps.  Got the target bags and now we’re off to walk the dog. 

This production is brought to you by: a do as I feel preschooler, a cranky and pee machine baby, an irritated and sleep deprived mother, and an excitable and impatient dog. This production takes us about twenty minutes every time. I hope you’ve enjoyed the show.


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