“I want to get away. I want to fly away. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.” Lenny Kravitz
It’s very exhausting being a mother. The hours are long and the time offs are none. What is a mother suppose to do if she need a break? It took me almost three years of being a mother to realize that if I don’t take breaks, then I will break down. In my post, My father in me, I realized that I was burnt out. I don’t get a lot of help with the kids. My mother in law helps when she can and my parents are way across town; the drive to my parent’s house won’t be worth the time to have some time to myself. I usually get a break from the kids when I do my weekly grocery shopping on Saturdays when my husband watches the kids. Even then that’s not a break because I’m still working. Sometimes my husband wants us to go out as a family which is nice but I’m still mom and I have to tend to the kids while my husband has all the fun.
I was having a conversation with a fellow mommy friend about having time to ourselves. She mentioned a friend of hers that told my friend that if you want time to yourself you have to take it. Don’t ask your husband, say you need some time to yourself and take the time preferably away from the house. It does make sense. I don’t know if any other father’s feel this way but my husband thinks that since I’m a stay at home mother and that’s the only job I have, I don’t need breaks and if I do I should ask him so he would watch the kids. In my mind, I shouldn’t have to ask him to help me or to watch the kids so I can have a break. In my husband’s words, “It’s a luxury to spend time with the kids.” Of course if you only see them an hour or two a day but if he was with them for twelve to fourteen hour day’s everyday without a break like I am, I bet he’ll feel differently.
So last Sunday and this past Sunday, I took an hour to myself. I was thinking of just sleeping in for an hour or so but the kids would be in the house. If I stayed in the house, I might as well not have a break because the kids would want or need something and I may give in to take care of their needs. I needed to do something that I wanted to do. I need my space away from the kids. I decide to take an hour long walks with the dog. I find that walking my dog give me a break mentality and it helps me clear my head. It’s also good exercise to get rid of this extra body fat. I didn’t ask my husband, I told him I need a break an hour or so from the kids because I’m burnt out. He understood that I needed a break but I don’t feel that he fully understand why.
I try not to feel guilty about taking time for myself. I’m always thinking about working around other people’s schedule to have time to myself and I realize that other people are looking out for themselves and their needs. So I need to think about myself and look out for my health and sanity. I can’t look for others to do that for me. I think this hour away is just want I needed to have a little bit of freedom for myself. It also teaches my sons that it’s ok for mommy to have a break away to get her thoughts together and relax. This also shows them that mommy isn’t the only one that can take care of them and they can go to daddy if the need something too. Don’t take it personally guys, Mama needs to get away.