Less Than Twenty Minutes

My oldest son is a great kid.  Despite the occasional temper tantrums and defiance, he is a well mannered sweet little boy.  He’s also a great big brother.  My oldest wants to play with his baby brother and hold and hug him every chance he gets.  But he also knows that his baby brother gets all the attention from me.  Sometimes my oldest will stop me to hug me when I’m going toward the baby when he’s crying.  Or my oldest would randomly hand me things to do for him like he’ll hand me his cup if he wants water or a granola bar to open while I’m in a middle of a diaper change or feeding the baby.  It’s tough knowing that just a few months ago you were the only child and then BAM, another little person is stealing your spot light.  There are days that I really feel bad for my oldest because I really want to have some one on one time with him but what can I do?  The baby needs me more than my oldest does.  It feels like I’m neglecting him emotionally.  The only time we have to ourselves is if I’m showering him or if my husband or mother in law watches the baby while I take my oldest to the store on an errand.  I really miss the days I would read to my oldest in his room.  We would cuddle and he would help me read the stories.  But as of late, I had to read to him with my infant son and that can be a hassle if the baby needed to be feed or change two to three times during the reading of the story.  But tonight was no ordinary night.

My oldest and I had finished our dinner and was headed upstairs along with my infant son for our usual story time in my infant son’s room.  As we were going upstairs, my infant son was dozing off in his strapped infant carrier.  “This is new”, I thought to myself.  My infant son was crying during dinner time but I thought he was getting hungry again not sleepy.  So my oldest son and I went into my infant son’s room.  I put my infant son on the changing table because I knew he did a little poop and needed to be changed.  Usually a diaper change would wake him up but this time it didn’t.  He must be very tired.  I put the baby in his crib.  My oldest was talking about his brother taking a nap when I told him,
 
“Shhhhhhhh.”
Then I whispered, “Your brother is sleeping. Let’s do story time in your room.”
My oldest said, “Go to my room?”
Still whispering I said, “Yes, let’s go to your room.”
 
I’ve grabbed the baby monitor and off we went.

 
I think my oldest was surprised that we were having story time in his room.  Knowing my infant son he wasn’t going to stay down too long.  We had about twenty minutes or less to read some short stories before he would wake up.  So my oldest son and I sat on his bed.  He said, “Sit on bed.” and a little smile came on his face.  He held the book in his hands and I asked him what he wanted to read.  “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, he said. I started to read to him the story.  My oldest cuddled and put his head on my chest as I read.  Then he tried to get comfortable and put his head on my lap.  I gave him missed opportunity kisses and hugs.  He started humming a happy tone to let me know that he was happy to spend some time with me.  We read two more stories.  I was on the last page of The Three Little Pigs when the baby started crying.  I looked at my oldest and it looked like he had a disappointed face that read, “Ok, mama has to go get the baby.  Get ready for mama to stop reading so we can see what the baby wants.” But this time I didn’t go rushing in to see what the baby wanted and my oldest smiled while I decided to continue to read.   I read for the couple of minutes it took to finish the story.  I got into the story more and read it to the end all the while the baby was screaming. Once I was done reading, I told my oldest, “Ok let’s see what the baby wants.”  

When my oldest and I went to the baby’s room, I noticed that the door was open slightly and the baby stop crying.  I don’t remember leaving the door open.  When we entered the room in the dim night light, I saw my husband holding the baby to calm him down.  But then the baby seen me and I walked over to him and tripped over a toy which made a loud sound then the baby starting crying again. Ok breaks over, time to get back to work.    

 
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