It’s story time! This is my favorite part of the day. It’s the part of the day when I know that my first born is about to go to bed after a long day of driving me crazy, but it’s the part where I think I spend the most quality time with him. Sometimes I feel bad for my oldest son because he doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with me like he use to since his baby brother was born three months ago. But he’s been a really good sport about sharing me with his brother.
My oldest son, my infant son, and I sat on the couch in his brother’s room. He picks up the book called Treasury of Classic Stories published by Parragon. His favorite story in the book is Chicken Licken. “Read Chicken Licken,” he says to me. My son repeats the title of the story at least three more times as I turn the pages of the book to find the story. I guess I wasn’t turning the pages fast enough for him.
As I started reading the story, my infant son starts to squirm. So I tried to reposition him hoping that he wouldn’t start crying until the end of the story. I was a page away from the end of the story when my infant begins crying. I thought to myself, “I can get through this story before the crying gets really bad.” The thing is that I want to give my oldest son some time with me to bond. I love to read him stories because I enjoy reading them and he enjoys listening to them.
So I finished the story but my son wants me to read it again. I was about to read it again when my infant son started whaling. I told my oldest that I had to change his brother before reading the story again. I think he understood but I can’t help to think that I’m interrupting his time with me to tend to his brother. After I finished changing my youngest, I sat back down to continue reading. Then my youngest started crying again. “He must be hungry.” I thought. So, I position the baby on the breastfeeding pillow and maneuver the book so it wouldn’t hit his head. I gave my baby the breast and tried to continue reading. My oldest is so fascinated when I nurse his brother that he would put his head near his brother and make cooing noise like he’s nursing too. It makes me uncomfortable when he does this and I tell him to give mama some space. Also, my oldest would get too close and accidentally bump his brother’s head with his.
I tried to get my oldest to focus on the book but his wasn’t having it. Every time I started to read, he would look at his brother nursing and try to touch my breast. By this time, their father entered the room. I gave my oldest a warning to stop and let his brother nurse or I will close the book. So he did it again. I got frustrated and closed the book. Then my oldest whined, REEEEEEAAAAD! I explained to him why I stopped reading the book. My oldest was upset. I felt bad but then I had to be firm with him to let him know that I was serious. Once he knows I was serious, he went to play with his father. A couple of minutes later, I gave my infant son to his father and my oldest climb onto the couch and hugged me. He was getting sleepy. I gave him a kiss and a hug back. Then his head lay on my shoulder and he went to sleep still hugging me.
I tried to wake him because if I didn’t wake him in time, he would pee on himself. Now, this is the time when my husband would take my oldest downstairs to feed the dog and let the dog out before going to bed. My husband was enjoying himself with the baby and I was enjoying myself holding my oldest in my arms. It was a rare occasion that he would fall asleep in my arms. I knew there would be a possibility that he may pee on me but for some reason, I didn’t want to wake him. It brings me back to the time when I use to nurse him to sleep when he was an infant. I guess the quality time was mostly for my sake instead of my sons. When my husband finally decided to wake our son up and tried walk him to the door, my oldest came back to me and wanted to sleep on me. When my oldest came back, I felt loved, needed and would of let him laid his head on me for as long as I could. When will I ever get a moment like that again? Finally, my husband got him moving when I realized that he did pee on himself and on me.
I know I should have waked my son up. Maybe I needed that hug from my son to make me feel better as a mom. To make me believe that although I was spending more time with my youngest son, that I haven’t totally negligent my oldest son. When he came back to me when he woke up the first time, it felt like he really missed me. Yes, I was being selfish in not waking my son up and didn’t care if I got peed on because truth is told, I miss him too.