Pee Pee Mission

I woke up with a strong urgent to pee.  I listen to my infant son snoring in his crib.  He should be sound asleep after barely taking a nap the day before because he was teething. He was also waking up every hour an a half after I put him down last night to suck on my nipple not just to feed but to use them as a teething toy as well. My little one should be exhausted.  I sat up a little hoping when I move that my little one doesn’t startle awake because he sense that I’m up. 

“Whew” I said to myself. So I think the coast is clear for me to attempt to go to the bathroom.  I looked at the time.  Wait.  Oh no! It was six thirty in the morning.  “Shit” I said to myself.  “What if the other one is waking up or even worse…awake?”  “Can I get pass him without him coming to his bedroom door crying to be let out?”  I can hold it.  It’s only for a couple more hours. I can wait. I reached over to the window ceil to get the baby monitor to see if my oldest son is awake. Yes, it looks like he’s still asleep.  He would usually turn his Baby Einstein caterpillar mobile on with the flashing light and music if he’s awake in his bed. Should I risk waking him? I decided I couldn’t hold it. 

I begin to slowly get up from the couch and crept towards the door in the darken room.  I tripped over a toy, my oldest son’s tractor trailer truck. “Damn it!”  I whispered and then looked over to my infant son while standing very still hoping the he didn’t hear the noise.  He starts to stir.  Then he settles down.  I slowly turn the knob and open the door.  The door creak and squeaked.  He did not stir.  This is great! Now all I need to do is to quietly make it down the hall, go pee silently, and then quietly make it back to my little ones bedroom, close his door quietly, creep slowly back to the couch without tripping over any toys and lay down hoping that I can get an hour more of sleep.

I start down the hall to the bathroom.  I have to go pass my oldest son’s room to get to the bathroom.  I tried to quietly make it down the hall.  But there were some floor boards squeaking along the way even though I walked closest to the wall.  I make it to the bathroom.  I carefully put the toilet seat down and quietly peed.  I don’t attempt to close the bathroom door since it makes a squeaking noise and a scraping noise on the floor.  That would surely wake up my son.  I didn’t bother to run the water to wash my hands.  I have Purell in my infant son’s room I can use. I flushed the toilet.


“What was that?  Oh no! Is he awake?”  I paused in the bathroom and peeked my head out the door to listen.  Dee dee da dee dee da dee dee. The music mobile is on. So I quietly left the bathroom and trotted down the hall on my tippy toes as fast as I could like I was jumping over imaginary puddles of water and went into the room of my infant son and gently close the door.  I hope my oldest was dreaming, thought he heard me go to the bathroom and he’ll fall back to sleep.

“MAMA! MAMA!” my oldest son cried and begins to whine.  He cried so loudly that when I heard it from the baby monitor, it sounded like I had the volume on high but I had the volume setting on low.  Then my infant hears his brother crying through the monitor and he wakes up crying.

Ugh. Missionfailed.     


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